black bali

I’m in a war of my life. Trust and Risk stand between me and everything my heart is dreaming of.

If you want to know the truth about who I’ve been since I was a small child, here it is. When I was about three or four, my family went to a water park on a very sunny summer day. My dad sat me on his lap and took me down the slowest water slide at the park. It was so slow that he had to keep pushing himself down the slide himself. With each push, I clung to him and screamed out, Daddy, don’t drop me! Daddy, don’t drop me! The entire time. The whole way down.

Why would he have ever dropped me? Why did I doubt his care and protection? I still cannot answer that question.

This has since become a major theme in my life. Even as an adult, I silently and covertly scream out those same words. Daddy, don’t drop me! I say it to my husband. I say it to my Father.

But at this juncture in my personal history, I have to stop. I have to stop trying to protect myself. I need and want to enjoy the ride. It’s the only thing separating me from the Joy of living as He desires for me.

So here begins a new chapter. Of Trust and Risk.